Garbage Day - Suicide Squad

Garbage Day - in which our hero finds himself once again defending a multi-million blockbuster from bullies on the internet. 

I'm going to try and be as spoiler-free as I can with this one but y'know *SPOILERS* are a little inevitable.

Look, I know you just let me out the doghouse after the whole Zoolander thing but... please stop shitting on Suicide Squad. Yes of course I value this relationship. No, I would never say this just to-  will you- just let me- what are you packing your bags for? Your mothers? Babe, please just hear me out. It's not that bad I promise. 

Was it as fun as I wanted it to be? No
Did they remember to give everyone decent characterisation? God no
Did this suffer from maybe the worst case of Will Smith Syndrome I've seen? God yes
But was this a god awful movie? Not at all

One of the biggest complaints I've seen is that the plot is thin - but I wasn't really going in for Oscar-worthy storytelling. I wanted a movie about bad guys blowing shit up and having a lunatic fun time. It did fall a little short there - I have to admit - it took too long to get to the action, having about forty minutes of origin story. But it was still an enjoyable ride. Deadshot had a great standoffish attitude with basically everyone that wasn't his own. Harley had a great relationship with basically everyone in the movie. Joker, while not having the reckless abandon I would expect was still very much the Joker.

Speaking of Harley - she was done pretty well... could've been better though. Margot Robbie was... well words defy me on Margot Robbie. But she did good. She was charming when she was supposed to be charming, scary when she was supposed to be scary and sexy when she was supposed to be sexy. But she really shines when she's all three at once. *Dodges telephone book* Yes I know she was a bit of a sex object! No I don't approve of the industry treating women like that but the thing about Harley is that while she's having a good time the film goes out of it's way to show how fucked up her situation is. The Joker is manipulative, abusive and controlling and everyone in the movie finds that relationship as fucked up as we do (Or should). My complaint is this version of the Joker does genuinely care about Harley - or at least acts like he does. Not more than himself (He abandons her to escape the Bat) but somewhat. It's interesting but I think they should really have driven home the point by having Harley be somewhat disposable to Joker. Because people romanticising that relationship is messed up and they should try harder not to nurture that feeling. 

Strangely enough, the girl with mental health issues and criminal tendencies isn't something to aspire to

Now, let's talk about Will Smith. This movie suffers from what I call "Will Smith Syndrome" i.e. that this film, probably as part of being able to hire Will, focuses a LOT on Deadshot. He get's the coolest lines, the most badass of action scenes, both the most badass AND sympathetic backstory. The first encounter with the enemy soldier thingamajigs everyone gets a kill or two - except Deadshot who gets ALL the kills. It's a solid minute or two of Deadshot just shooting things, looking cool while he does it. Then making a killer line. Even at the end of the movie, Harley beats the bad guy, Flag finishes the bad guy off, Diablo beats the other but Deadshot still gets to save the day. AND he gets a two-minute-slow-mo-scream with a close up of his face while also choosing his daughter or something (This scene was hard to make sense of) while he does it. It's not necessarily a bad thing except that maybe it detracted from the other characters. Tell me something you know about Captain Boomerang? There's not a lot is there. Plus, I would have loved more Katana than we got. Because she deserves so much more than thirty seconds of crying at a sword and then literally nothing else of note.  

Joker, Joker, Joker. This isn't my favourite version of the Joker (It would be hard to beat Mark Hamill or Heath Ledger, sorry Jared) but this performance was pretty solid. He was creepy, he was chilling. He was downright scary. He was even pretty fun - turning up in a Tuxedo to save Harley. In my mind the Joker will always be more prankster than gangster. But, this performance was captivating and that's the most important part of being the Joker. He should absolutely steal every scene he is in. He's an attention hog and he's a bloody good one so if he's on screen you shouldn't be able to look away. You should be frightened and fascinated all at once. That's why I approve of Leto's tattooed, gangster Joker. 

So as we can see, the movie does have problems. But it doesn't JUST have problems. Diablo's arc - which I can't go into for spoiler reasons - was sad and then it was badass. I liked the direction that went quite a bit. 
Enchantress - which again spoiler reasons - was interesting as hell. The only problem being she was made of bad CGI for a lot of the movie and I'm not sure why. 
It should also be noted this movie is pretty as hell. It's bright and colourful in a world where action movies tend to be quite dark looking. 
The gags were solid. I can't really tell you about them without ruining them, obviously. But rest assured this movie is funny sometimes. 

Is this a contender for Best Picture?
No not really
Does it deserve 26% on the tomatometer?
God no. It was enjoyable as hell if only just to watch Deadshot shoot things and Harley just be Harley.

Rating: 6.5
Could have been a seven if it was just a bit less slow to get to the action or spent just a little more time on the more interesting characters it barely thought about. But it gains points for solid action scenes, looking pretty, solid performances and gosh dang nabit Harley is the soul of this movie. 

Would I watch this movie again?
Yeah. Yeah I would. I'd watch it right now. What's that? You want to watch it right now? Yeah? LET'S DO THIS

Mugatu Meter:
Sadly, lacking in Mugatu. Mugatu neck snapping would have carried this to a clear nine. 

Fine, fine, I'll sleep on the couch tonight. No you'll realise you're in the wrong. Gaaaah, goodnight.